moving out and learning to grow up

wow i must say, i havent used this blog since like april, that is a vey long time. just havent really had time to blog or even read blogs from the girls. but somehow blogs are the way i find out abt ppl's feelings towards issues, and also how they felt abt things in associated with me. i just feel like i always find things out , especially when its related to my closest friends, though blog. I mean we have out chats and catch up , but i miss the times when we have a girls night out to just chat and talk abt stuff.

maybe it is just me? has my sensitivity gone to its max again , coz im just thinking tooo much into something small? i think its my turn to have a emo period of blogging lol. It is just sometimes i feel like i have drifted away somehow, its just an emo thinking or is it a fact, can someone pls tell me ??

It is not like i am not happy with life, i am happy to have great friends around me, great family, and a great chucky who watches out and takes care of me through these good and bad times. i just feel like i have to grow up so much faster. of course im already 21 , i should have already been able to handle things like a grown up. But i feel like i have to handle things/ issues that only grown ups have to deal with. I know i am selfish to say things like that, but it is just a comment .

Lately, just been busy with work at both places , and having to move out of my dark, gloomy yet cozy leeming house, which i have been in for 8 years..just filled with so much memories, which really make me sad having to leave this place. But i got to learn to understand that we need to move on with life at times and thats why memories are left for us to look back on and have a great smile or laugther when we think or talk abt it, even though times have been tough, there are stil the occassional bbt times with the girls, and nights out at the clubs for the drinks. and definately alot of 21st this year . It helps to relax from the tense, stressful issues faced with the mving and communication with ppl and worst of all suppliers.

However, i jsut found out today abt how i have upsetted a close friend, but i had no idea abt, i menat i should have felt it, but maybe i was just too dense to feel it, is that wat ppl think abt me?? but i have apologised o her, however, i found that sending an email isnt good enouhg, but she is on holidays at he moment, so that was the only way to apologise , however i wil lmake it up when she gets back. I just feel like i may get upset when i heard how ppl really feel abt the tihngs i do, however, if they are coming from my close friends, i think i would appreciate it more when i do learn it from them. I mean after all we are all matrue enough to talk abt how we feel to each other. i just feel like im alwyas the last to know abt my mistakes, even though i should be smart enough to figure it out at that time. but i just haev ot say, just take it that i am no a very smart person.

looking around the house, there are still so much to do , the garden, the cleaning of the whole house, but at least most of mum and dads stuff are packed and have been moved to chucks shed. the remaining is just the stationerys, just called the supplier up, so hopefully i get some good news to help us with the moving. and to ligthen the load that have been on our backs.

moving into a new room at dans is pretty exciting, but it is the first time in my life, where i have to move out and possible shrea a house with ppl we dun live with. After having my parents provide for most of the living area and settling the problems for us, i feel like for the past year or 2, having to learn to pay al the bills, and learning to finance and budget ur income and allowed me to see, that i can no longer be that lil girl that hides behind my parents.

I know i cant blame them for things that we have to go through, but one thing for sure, i can actually thank them for believing in jeral and i to handle eveything for them , and to grow up into the harsh reality of the real world.

i think i have bitched enough . but i haev to say, if i didnt have the friends i got around me, u guys know who u are , for the bbts and clubbings, i would have not been able to cope with the things that has been around me.


5 more days til chucky is back... this hitch has passed pretty fast, but i just cant wait to see him again..


love you girlies, and love you all...